How do I even start this? I feel like I’ve been chasing this goal for so, so long and so for it to actually happen, well there are a lot of feelings.
Backing up for a second. I’ve always been a late bloomer in sport. I didn’t really blossom into a great swimmer until the last two years of my swim career and it’s taken me a long time to figure out this Ironman thing. Spoiler alert: I still haven’t. I’m not particularly gifted/talented, but where I lack in that is made up for in an abundance of stubbornness, a lack of common sense, and a “I’ll quit when I’m dead” mentality. All of those things lead into a great deal of determination, persistence, and the annoying ability to remain positive when everything goes wrong. RE: THE LAST 6.5 YEARS. I won’t rehash that, you all know the stories, the injuries, the life-altering moments - it’s this crazy beautiful-awful life that just keeps you spinning in circles sometimes.
What I will rehash is that it took me 12 tries at this distance to get to this moment. I’ve PR’d, podiumed (finally after a string of near-miss 6th places!), I’ve finished DFL - looking at you Norseman 2016, and I have DNF’d 3 fulls. This distance is wild - you never know what race day will bring or how your body is going to react and that’s what makes it worth doing! Also, holy cow - who knew I’d still be improving as I approach 40. Some people get this sport on the first try, some people, like me, have to keep laying the bricks slowly and eventually it will fall into place.
After recovering from my 2023 injuries, this year was all about putting in performances I knew I had in me. Challenge Roth was amazing, but disappointing in that I had a rough day on the bike and didn’t have it that day. Looking back, racing on about 2 hours of sleep and a week of sightseeing probably didn’t help lol. Luckily, I had signed up for Ironman Arizona last winter mostly because I really liked doing a late season Ironman last year and I really wanted to shoot for a PR. And maybe also that Kona thing in the back of my mind since I missed the Kona party in 2022 and 2023 due to injuries.
Training this year focused on just being consistent. After Roth, I had a few weeks to get recovered and then we started building back in for AZ. Other than a bout of Covid in September, I was putting up great numbers and paces. Coming into IM AZ is probably the most confident I’ve ever felt going into a full - I was ready and I knew this was going to be my race. I also had an interesting sign when I got into Tempe. I was going to check my phone for when the sun was setting so I could go grab a run and when I went to my weather app it said “Kailua-Kona” before it updated my location to Tempe. I’m not even kidding and was stunned enough that I didn’t react fast enough before it updated to grab a screen shot.
I started my true taper about a week out and focused on resting up for the big day. Race morning was finally here and I was so pumped! Also, BONUS - my friend Nic who is an official for Ironman was staying at the same hotel and we randomly ran into each other for a very loud 445 am reunion! Those were my first tears of the day and I was so thrilled to see him. I made my over to the race site, got my transition stuff set up, panicked about back wheel, fixed back tire (thank you Nic and other race official!!), and then found mom, Kari, and the kiddos in the VIP area. Also, pro tip, if you shell out the money for Ironman VIP you get your own bathrooms and don’t have to share 😆 ALSO - LIZ CAME OUT TO SURPRISE ME!! She flew in the morning of and was there right when I finished the swim! Between Nic and Liz, my heart was already feeling full to the point of bursting. The amount of gratitude I have towards the amazing humans I’ve met in this sport is unmeasurable.
I squeezed myself into my wetsuit and made my way to the start line. The next set of tears came during the national anthem. I’m not sure what came over me in that moment, but it had me sniffling and shedding tears. And soon, we were starting. To be completely honest, I hate this swim. For some inexplicable reason, I never swim well here and it is so freaking slow. This is only swim I’ve ever been like “thank God that is over.” I came out of a less than stellar swim (for me, remember it’s all relative!) and was so ready go fast on my bike.
My bike has been rough this year - mostly because of external circumstances and it hasn’t been a reflection of my fitness. So I was really excited to have no issues and just go for it. SIGH. As I hopped on my bike and started pedaling, my chain dropped, got wedged and very, very stuck. After wasting time trying to do it myself (and cutting up my hands) and Liz telling me to calm down, I have time - I ran back to transition to have the mechanics fix it for me and then I was able to get on my way. So if you were tracking me and saw my slow first split that is why. I was panicked and it felt like an eternity and I didn’t want to lose a podium spot or KQ because of it. In the end, it did cost me an IM AZ bike course PR and an overall Ironman PR, but these things happen. The only thing that matters is how you react and move forward. I really wish it hadn’t happen because I had an average all-time Ironman bike power best by 10 watts, so again, the fitness and improvement are there, external factors are just a bitch sometimes. I rode very well, with the time difference between my first and last loop of the 3 loop course being less than a minute apart even with the headwind picking up. I made up a lot of ground, riding my way back into top 10 overall and putting myself back into second in my age group off the bike.
I felt a lot more comfortable with things after I came off the bike. I may not be the fastest runner, but I’m nothing if not consistent. While I am faster than I was in the past, the biggest thing that has changed for me is that I don’t really blow up and death march the IM marathon anymore (Sunday was actually another IM marathon PR. To be fair, it’s another marathon PR since I’ve never run one outright and have zero plans to). I still want to get under 4 hours off the bike for the marathon and I think that is much more doable now that I have found consistency in running. The speed will come. I know I will drop spots, but I also knew that with 40 Kona spots available for women, my AG would likely get 5 spots based on other races this fall. So I just needed to be consistent and maintain a steady pace without doing anything stupid. The first 15-16 miles actually didn’t fell horrible. I always stick to my walk the aid stations, run the rest plan. This helps my legs reset, keep my HR in check, and gives me small mental resets along the way. Too often I see people blow through those first aid stations and I end up passing them later in the marathon while they are walking. You’d be amazed what 20 second walk breaks to take on nutrition can do for you! Anyway, I digress. Around mile 16, Liz told me I was in 4th and that 5th was closing, but I could hold her off if I keep maintaining. GAH. NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THAT AT MILE 16. Mile 16 is usually a turning point in the Ironman marathon. You’ve covered a lot of ground by that point so the fatigue is really starting to hit, but you still have just over 10 miles to go. It’s mind f**kery. I heard her say, “you can do this, you have trained for this.” Yes, yes I have. Every single Sunday long run is dress rehearsal for the fatigue you will feel at the late stages of an Ironman. I saw Kristan on the backside of the hill and she said I was still holding onto 4th and I could do this! For those that don’t know, Kristan I shared some very dark miles of IM Wisconsin 2017 together! I found myself drawing on those learned moments and embracing the pain that my body was in. It’s the only way to get through it - you have to face the pain head on. It’s not going to go away, you just have to push through.
But wtaf am I doing here?
Mom calls this my “don’t f**k with me zone.” I came around to start my 3rd loop and saw Kari and mom and yelled “where’s 5th and 6th?!” Both looked bewildered, but they had answers when I saw them again 😂 I kept running. At this point in the marathon, I usually switch to getting from aid station to aid station rather than counting the miles. As most people know, the next turning point is the 20 mile mark. You have the longest 10k of your life ahead of you there. Oh man, I was so bloated by this point. Just keep moving. I ran into another athlete I know as she was on her first loop and that was a great pick-me-up! And then out of some desert mirage comes Nic himself like the magical f**king unicorn that he is, and he somehow got me to have a full on conversation with him while I was running. I have no idea how he did that, but there I was running at mile 18.5 and having a chit-chat like this was just normal and that I was completely fine out for a casual Sunday run 😆 I saw the mile 20 sign, then mile 21 and saw Liz again. I had put time back into 5th and had sizeable lead on 6th, so I just needed to keep going. Just over 5 miles. Get to the next aid station. Caffeine. Get to the next aid station. Mile 23 is at the crest of the hill on the back side of the course, it is mostly downhill from there except for a stinger before turning to get back on the path on Priest Dr (imho this is the worst one on course lol). After mile 24 I saw Liz again, and she said some magical words. They had posted the slot allocations, there were 5 slots in my AG and I had it. People around me started to congratulate me and I was like “NOOOOO, this isn’t done yet - I still have to get through the next 1.7 miles!” And then my stomach rumbled. OH NO. This will be the moment I finally s**t myself in a race. I had made peace with that fact, but thankfully, I did not. However, I did in fact spend the night and day after sick though - I am blaming the lake water. Left turn, left turn, down the tiny hill, right turn to head to Rio Salado and the finish line. Those last miles were the longest of my life knowing 5th was coming. Finally, I saw the last little hill to the finish and Liz told me 5th was 3.5 minutes back so I could enjoy the finish chute. While I did enjoy it, I powered up that little hill because I just wanted to be done. I had done it - I finally podiumed at full-distance and I KQ’d. 4th in AG, another top 20 overall, and another sub-11 (I'm getting really consistent!). I cried. I saw Kari, then Liz, then Kristan. I got huge hugs from them all. Mom had to take Teagan to the bathroom, so our hug was a bit delayed 😂 I wished dad could have seen this moment. At the darkest moments when I race, I draw on his strength, I remind myself that he is half of me and everything that made him great, exists in me. I so wish he could have seen this.
Like I said, I’m not naturally talented or gifted, I play the long game. I’ve gotten to this point due consistency and getting the work done even when I don’t want to. I don’t believe in motivation. You can’t be motivated 100% of the time, but you can just show up every day and give your best. That’s what I do. It’s easy to make excuses like “I don’t have time” or “I’m tired,” but here is the thing - those excuses show up on race day and in life. To be completely honest, you can be as fit as anyone, but if you don’t have the mental toughness to back things up - it won’t go the way you want. This one meant a lot. It tested me, it made me keep my head in the game. It’s never over until it’s over. This was a culmination of years of hard lessons learned and staying calm when things go wrong.
So now for the what next. I still have two major goals left in full distance racing - finish at the top of Mt Gausta (DON’T EFF ME OVER WEATHER) and finish Kona, both of which I will do next year for my 40th year of life. Norseman is the “A” race for next year and Kona is just going to be the celebration. No one races well in Kona unless you are winning it and I’m just there for the party, so if takes me 17 hours, I don’t really care. After that, I’m not actually sure what I’ll do. Maybe I’ll go for a PR race again, but I might step away and go play bikes more on the gravel bike, maybe race some time trials. I feel like once I have the “big three” of Kona, Roth, and Norseman done, I might pivot to something else. Maybe shorter distances. Ironman is a lot. Peak training is nuts. For now though, I’ll just enjoy the moment and take some time to rest before we ramp up for 2025 ❤
I waited so long for this moment. I wanted ALL the cheesy pictures ❤
